I never thought that building a life on Instagram would one day make something as personal as marriage so complicated. But here I am, 27, living in Chennai, managing brand collaborations, creating content daily, and silently dreading every time a relative asks, “So, when are you getting married?”
From the outside, my life probably looks picture-perfect—travel, fashion, reels with trending audio, and a growing follower base. But the truth is, behind the filters and curated content lies a constant inner tug-of-war. Not just about marriage itself, but about who I’m supposed to marry.
As someone from the Mudaliyar community, caste has always been part of the conversation, even if it’s never openly acknowledged. My parents want someone from our caste—someone “well-settled,” ideally from a good family, and yes, someone who can handle the fact that their future wife is practically living online. Not exactly an easy checklist.
They even suggested I register on mudaliyarkannalam.com, a matrimonial site dedicated to our community. And while I understand where they’re coming from, I can’t help but feel a little boxed in.
It’s not that I’m against tradition. I love where I come from. I speak fluent Tamil, I celebrate Pongal with my family, and I’ve even posted about our rituals online. But being told that love must happen within the caste, that’s where I struggle. What if the person I connect with isn’t Mudaliyar? What if he’s from another background but respects me, supports my career, and genuinely gets me?
Dating is already hard as a public figure. People watch everything—who I’m seen with, what I post, even what I don’t post. If I share too much, it becomes gossip. If I stay quiet, people assume. Add caste expectations on top of that, and the pressure becomes unbearable.
And for women influencers like me, there’s a silent rulebook: tone down your content after marriage, avoid bold photos, don’t post “too much,” and definitely don’t outshine your husband. It’s frustrating. I didn’t build this platform to later apologize for it.
Some days I consider just going with what my parents want. Maybe I’d find someone decent on a site like mudaliyarkannalam.com and settle down quietly. Other days, I feel defiant—I want to marry someone I truly vibe with, caste be damned.
I know I’m not alone in this. So many young women like me are trying to balance personal dreams with family expectations. It’s not easy. And it’s not just about marriage. It’s about identity, freedom, and the future we want to build.
Maybe I’ll figure it out eventually. For now, I’m still creating, still growing—and still hoping that when the time comes, I won’t have to choose between love and being myself.